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Analysis of various songs
1987 - Gustavo Moretto - A Judita
I didn't really feel like I knew how to evaluate it because I wasn't sure what your goal was, so I re-listened to the Pinta tu Aldea album (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdnFHvVlAdI) and tried to hear what was different between this song and the songs on that album. Obviously it's not totally fair to compare a studio-recording to a live performance but I thought it might give some ideas.
I thought this song was like Pinta tu Aldea (the song) in that it starts with the fast-idea instead of a slower intro section, and it was like A quiénes sino in that it seems to be just keyboard and the bass(?) (except in A quiénes sino it seems to be more than one keyboard?).
The theme at the beginning seems to be only 3-4 notes, whereas on Pinta tu Aldea the ideas seem to be more complicated. I thought the idea reminded me the most of the keyboard idea on A quiénes sino (3:21 into the album).
The "Pinta tu Aldea" song seems to be at ~166bpm for the fast parts. This new song is at ~135 for the fast parts which may make them seem relatively less energetic. A quiénes sino seems to be at ~135 bpm when the keyboard comes in at 3:21, but then it seems to later go up to 140.
It seems like the duration of the notes during the fast part is relatively longer on this new song than on Pinta tu Aldea (the song): on Pinta tu Aldea each note seems like an 8th, but on this song it seems like the tones are held for quarter notes or half-notes (ignoring the flourishes). The keyboard opening on A quiénes sino seems closer. But it may be that you didn't want to have this new song be as fast-paced as Pinta tu Aldea.
Pinta tu Aldea seems to repeat the initial fast idea (from the guitar) for 8 2-measure pairs (16 total measures), which this new song does as well, but Pinta tu Aldea has a concluding idea which goes for a few measures and separates the repetition of the initial idea, so it sounds less repetitive when it is repeated.
Pinta tu Aldea (the song) seems to have two voices in the fast initial part: the guitar and the bandoneon. In the new song it's just the keyboard by itself.
For the songs on Pinta tu Aldea (the album), I like the lots of interesting sounds / instruments on the songs in Pinta tu Aldea: banging on the piano(?), clapping, a modulator(?) on an instrument (12:19), trumpets, whatever that thing is at 18:50. Obviously it's not easy to do this during a live performance. But it's something I'm seeing in rap and EDM, where the producers are always looking for new sounds and trying to make their records have as many different kinds of sounds as possible. I think part of the reason Justice's Cross album was a huge success is that they were creating custom sounds that no one had ever heard before, while most other artists seem to use stock sounds.
In Pinta tu Aldea, when the first theme comes back towards the end (starting 17:06 in the album), there's a section at the beginning where it's significantly changed that I really liked.
I really liked the part starting at ~1:40 into the song (2:30 in the video) with the vocals.
at ~3:46 it kind of repeats where I thought it could have done something different, it does that at ~4:12
I liked the programmed sequence at 2:52
I liked the turn starting at 3:24-3:27
I really liked the turn at 7:11
7:16 the keyboard gets a little too far from the melody for me to follow
the programmed sequence at 7:23 doesn't blend well with the instruments when it's coming in but by the time it finishes it's blending well. The speed of it is also a little jarring because it's so different from everything else that's been played up to that point, IDK if it was possible to do this but it might sound better if it easied into that speed. The sense I've gotten from electronic dance music is that if they use an instrument that's that fast / distinctive, they tend to build the entire song around it.
3:00, 3:34, 6:55, 4:17, 4:20, 4:24(sort-of), 4:56(sort-of), 6:20(sort-of), 6:54 has that climax I've heard before a lot from overhearing your music (IDK which song(s)), personally I think you maybe use it a little too much, but it may just be the style of the song or it may just be me having heard the same song that uses it many times.
As an experiment you might try cutting out the entire first 1:40 of the song, start with the guy singing (2:29 in the video), show it to an average person and see what they think compared to the original version, it might make it easier for less sophisticated listeners to get into the song, and then later on when things get more complicated they may be more receptive to it. As far as I can tell the idea brought up in the first 1:40 is never reintroduced later in the song.