Be confident
- 2016.05.20 - NYT - A Facebook Algorithm Renews a College Crush
Yet when Ms. Alden opened her front door, the gracious, easygoing Mr. Spahn, who counts internationally known businesspeople and world-class athletes among his intimate friends, froze entirely, his nerves a jumble.
Ms. Alden, now working in client relations and digital strategy for Palo Alto Investors, a hedge fund focused on health care, was as beautiful — and effervescent — as he remembered.
Over dinner, his freeze thawed — only too much so. Mr. Spahn gushed nonstop on life since college.
(...)Ms. Alden, who could barely edge in a word, found Mr. Spahn’s over-the-top enthusiasm about education and sports somewhat charming, but her divorce and a few years on the dating scene made her alert to red flags. Always direct, she asked if Mr. Spahn perhaps had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
He didn’t, he simply buckled under pressure. At evening’s end, when Ms. Alden gave him a perfunctory pat on the back, he was well aware he had blown it.
Nevertheless, Mr. Spahn’s competitive spirit was reignited along with his collegiate ardor.
(...)
After the disastrous date with Ms. Alden, he was down but determined to fight his way back. A few days later, he showed up at a party she casually invited him to. To underscore her lack of romantic interest, Ms. Alden pointed out to Mr. Spahn the many single women in attendance.But as Ms. Alden set off toward another man who beckoned to her, Mr. Spahn blocked her path. Channeling the “do the opposite” rule made famous by George Costanza from “Seinfeld,” he decided to do the thing he would never do.
“You put me in the ‘friend zone,’ and I don’t want to be in the ‘friend zone,’” he told her. Then, with one hand on the nape of her neck, he kissed her. She, too, made a move out of character: She kissed him back.
“His confidence excited me, and the kiss was perfect,” said Ms. Alden, who recalled that the chemistry that was missing in their first encounter had “entirely combusted.”
They talked until morning, but this time conversation was an easy volley, with Ms. Alden becoming captivated by Mr. Spahn’s warm grin, kind manner, intelligence and passion, and quirky sense of humor. The next day, he boarded a plane, but he cut that trip short to return to Ms. Alden’s side.
- The annoying thing about this story is that this is exactly the kind of behavior that women seem to complain about.